Last night I was on a 5 hr flight, and in-between reading my book, thought I’d add my comments to ads and pictures in the airline’s in-flight magazine.
Here are my thoughts, which I left behind for the next passenger to read:
Circled main image with link to this copy:
Looks like an angel made of meat. Saint LaBoeuf!
Copy linked to woman in bed:
All these damn COMPUTER SCREENS!
Copy linked to raccoon:
Don’t be fooled by my fizzy drink and crewneck. I’ll be eating your garbage tonight!
Copy linked to guy climbing rock wall:
I’ve always wanted to climb a rock on a cruise ship!
Copy in painting: BEFORE
Copy next to guy: AFTER
Copy linked to guy:
Yes, you’re floating in thin air. Just read the paper! Don’t look down. Don’t look sideways. It’ll be over soon. Read the paper!
Copy linked to duck:
Look! Daffy Duck’s an asshole. Howard the Duck? Nice guy. That’s just how it is.
Wow. I’m a terrible draw-er. Supposed to be skull and crossbones flag. But looks like constipated John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.
Copy next to raccoon:
Noooo! Blue round thing is the Earth. Red round things is an apple. Earth. Apple. Got it?
This circled copy above is on the official page for Toronto’s City Hall.
Its purpose: asking you to have an imagination, dammit!:
“Hey don’t walk away. Honestly I know this building is dull, outdated and boring now. But let me tell you. I promise. This was really a sight to see in the 60s. No really. Hey where are you going….”
I was thinking of ways to describe someone who walks around punching you in the face with obviousness. I came up with this list below in which:
He’s as subtle as…
1. a Crucifix
2. a YouTube comment board
3. an Infomercial
4. slogans against gay marriage
5. CAPS LOCK
6. a Skyscraper
7. Nicotine withdrawal
8. Lady Gaga
9. An exclamation mark!
10. A shark attack
Tim Horton’s is Canada’s unofficial religion. And in springtime, Easter feels the competition from Tim Horton’s Roll up the Rim contests. This is when Canadians drink more caffeine than they probably should all in a quest to roll up their finished coffee and win a car, money or another coffee.
Here’s a losing example above.
To commemorate our national drug rush, I’ve put together 5 losing messages, in both official languages – English and Francais- as they would appear on a normal cup. Keep on guzzling for gifts! / Tic Tac Tabernac Esti Caulisse – Let’s go!
Is this is a window display for a grocery store? A hardware shop? A men’s clothing store? Or a magic shop?
(Yes that’s a saw through an apple in the second photo.)
A men’s clothing store.
I didn’t speak with their window display art director, but was inspired by the design to think of some possible WTF mannequin displays for other stores:
Huge 75% off sign. Next to it the head of a mannequin with 75% of its hair shaved off.
75% off sign with headline – “We’re cutting prices!” – Next to it a mannequin with a chainsaw, “sawing” away limbs of the other mannequin.
“Massive Half off” sign with headline 50% off – Next to it one mannequin wearing only pants and shoes and another wearing only a shirt and hat.
70% off sign with headline “We’re smashing prices” – Next to it a mannequin leaning up against a sledgehammer with another mannequin head sitting on a pile of dust on the floor next to it.
“Going out of business. Everything must go” sign dangling from the top of the display. Next to it a mannequin pointing a rifle at the sign.