1. Have one’s cake and eat it too
What else would I do with a cake?
2. The Devil Is In The Details
But God’s also in the details. So, details are bad when you have to come up with them, but once you have, they’re heavenly?
3. To Err Is Human, To Forgive Divine
I fucked up because I’m human. Now I should forgive because it’s divine.
But hang on. I’m human.
4. Don’t Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
Is the gift horse about to vomit? Does it have decaying rotten teeth that will make me vomit? Why shouldn’t I look into its mouth?
5. Can’t Cut the Mustard
I can cut the mustard. You can cut the mustard. Realistically, only someone, unconscious on life support or without function of their hands cannot cut the mustard.
6. Between A Rock And A Hard Place
Granted it wouldn’t sound as good, but isn’t a hard place just another rock?
7. Beat A Dead Horse
Did somebody actually beat a dead horse and get increasingly frustrated it didn’t react?
“Fuckin horse. Whack! You deserve it, you equine stooge. Whack! Don’t you ever defecate in front of my house again. Whack! Do you hear me you disgrace to farm animals. Whack! Why aren’t you listening to me.”
“It’s dead, man.”
“Damn it. You’re right. It’s just not worth it.”