“My God, it’s small”, while looking down at yourself.
Put both hands on the wall above the urinal and sing “Cops” theme song as you go.
“It’s ridiculous. We really should spend more time together”, while looking down at yourself.
“Uh oh! What does it mean when things turn kinda purplish-green?”
“They’re off! He’s strong out of the gates with 3 cups of coffee behind him, which should give him the finish he wants. His competitor is weaker off the line, with what looks like 1 cup of coffee a tiny celery stick, and hmmm…maybe, a small piece of watermelon backing him.”